Moving Forward with Ease.
A month after Keydell's passing.
In the Empowered Voices Collective community the other day, we were talking about integration. The integration of the four bodies of physical, mental, spiritual and emotional. We focused on our emotions in the body, how to access them and the messages they provide for us. We did a short guided meditation, grounding in our bodies and whatever sensations were present and any emotion that was attached to that sensation. Was it joy, sadness, anger etc? Then we wrote on the prompt “What emotion is present for me today and what message does it have for me?”
As each of us shared, we all got emotional. Vulnerable. Real. We got to the truth of something that was deep inside of us and when we listened, we uncovered the messages.
This practice of slowing down and tuning in with an intention to understand and get to know yourself better has helped me through this last month. It’s been a month since the death of my 24 year old son and I have felt the deepest most profound grief and sadness that I could have imagined. It’s been heavy in my body like a lead balloon sitting in my gut. It’s had a sensation of tingling and floating as well. My throat feels like a dam about to burst as the tears sit there waiting for a moment to release. My vocal cords have been strained and my heart feels broken, sad and yet open beyond belief. It is filled with unexpressed love for Keydell, my son, and filled with love that has been pouring in from my friends, family and our community.
I am an entrepreneur. I have been for my entire career. Taking time off usually takes preparation so when Keydell died, I chose to push a few things out. Photo shoots got moved. Coaching clients got moved and I took the time to grieve.
As I move forward and get back to work, the work I enjoy and find so much fulfillment in, this practice of honoring my emotions and feelings has been very supportive. I am integrating my body, emotions and thoughts so they can support one another. This helps me be at ease when I am working. I can feel the heavy, love it, acknowledge it, hold it and then when I am done with my shoot or a coaching call, I can work with it with breath work or a good cry. My body knows the feeling is there and my mind chooses to focus on work and my soul holds it all with love.
What I have learned about myself is that I am strong but also because I take the time to allow the heavy emotions to be present and I give them space, breath, nurturing and sometimes movement so the heavy can shift around in my body and have room to shift. I know that grief has no time limit, or any other emotions for that matter, but these practices help me move forward with ease. I can be present for my work, my clients and the joy that comes from these interactions and also acknowledge that I have some grief in my body.
What I wrote in my reflection after I did the meditation with my EVC group was this:
My heart my heart, feeling pinchy, cracked and quite small today.
I ask you heart, “what would you tell me if you had a voice?”
“Oh, but I do have a voice. I am speaking to you all the time.
You must listen.”
“Okay, I am listening, I am feeling, I am open.”
“That is the message. Listen, feel, be open.”
Whatever you are experiencing today, I hope you can take the time to notice. I said to the Empowered Voices group that we want to certainly take in joy when it is present so we don’t miss it. Heavy emotions are more easily felt. Where do they sit in your body, what is the sensation they bring and what message do they give you when you ask? You have to ask.
As we move forward with this conversation in our group, we will talk about what happens next once we uncover our emotions, feel them and the messages they bring. What action step helps us move forward with ease? For me, it’s the continued practice of loving all that is present right now. The heavy, the tingly, the floaty and the sadness as well as the joy that comes from my work. One day at a time.
Best to you as you navigate life. I am here for you as we are not seperate. Join our EVC group, ask me for some spiritual coaching one on one, or join us for a Born to Rise story night.
Namaste,
Kim
❤️