Your holiday story

the big AND...

I remember in school being taught that Thanksgiving was all about the coming together of Pilgrims and American Indians to eat, share, gather and make peace. I now know that is only part of the story. The people who came to this country murdered so many American Indians, took their lands and thought they discovered America so it was theirs for the taking. They acted out of power, fear and greed whereas the American Indians were most likely already at peace and didn’t need these Pilgrims to show them that gathering around a table to feast was how it should be done.

Were we taught this story to make ourselves feel better about how violent we were to the American Indians? Do we tell these kinds of stories out of shame or guilt or is part of the story true as well? I think perhaps Pilgrims and American Indians did gather around a table to feast but there is more to that story of course. The part that is important to remember.

I love Thanksgiving as a holiday. Gratitude has become the word of the day for this holiday. I think of what I am grateful for and in our family, before we eat, we go around the table to share what we are grateful for. This year for me, will be especially hard because it’s the first holiday since our son passed. How the hell do I find gratitude this year??? But I do. I will and it’s an important part of my grieving to remember all the good that is present in my life even during these challenging emotional times. The full story is I am grieving AND I have gratitude for the beautiful years we had with our youngest child. Perhaps I grieve for the American Indians who lost their lives, their families or children as well. I will also have gratitude for my family, friends and community who have supported us during this hard time. And gratitude for the food that will be in abundance at our table. This is not something some will have in the same way. So my story has the big AND.

The AND is what I will remember about Thanksgiving. It’s important to be mindful of what this holiday is fully about, the full story. With this presence we can remember when we say “Happy Thanksgiving” we are cognizent about who we are saying it to. An American Indian may not feel this is a “Happy” day at all. People who have no family or much food may not feel this is a happy holiday. We can remember the good and the harmful parts of the Thanksgiving story.

I think what we CAN also do is take the good parts of this history, the idea of coming together, gathering in peace and sharing food as a way to honor what I hope was the intention back in the beginning. AND…. we can also acknowledge what happened to the people who came before Pilgrims arrived, who lived here, peacefully, off the land and were terrified when others tried to harm them in the name of power or fear. We can apply this sentiment to people who suffer today in some way.

Our stories carry with us in so many ways and this is one of them. We are taught something, often from someone we feel is older and wiser (a parent or teacher) and it becomes our truth. Take the time to explore your stories, however. Is there more to it and can you honor all sides of the story. I have grief and I also have gratitude. Both sides. Thanksgiving can and often is about gratitude and gathering around a table to eat AND it’s sometimes a reminder, for some, of what they don’t have (food, family, a home) or the loss of American Indian lives. Let us honor that side of the story too as we sit in gratitude for what we DO have. When you look at all sides your compassion grows, your heart opens, and you remember others who are less fortunate as well.

I truly do wish you are able to find gratitude this Thanksgiving as well as remember those who were a part of the Thanksgiving story in a very different way. History is layered, our stories are layered and within all the layers we have the possibility to become more aware, open and compassionate when we see the whole picture. Gathering in community is healing, sharing food is healing, gratitude is a wonderful practice AND we are reminded that doing these kinds of things instead of things that are out of fear, dominance or power can create the harmony that I think the Thanksgiving story intends to be about.

Namaste,

Kim